To talk or not to talk – Can personal confessions help?

Box of Frogs - Speak,Hear, See

This week I want to tell you about the power of sharing your story – as you know I am sharing mine in Box of Frogs with Mary McEvoy and John Moynes which is on a nationwide tour at the moment and this week we were in The Dock in Carrick on Shannon and The Solstice in Navan.

Personal confessions can help

One of the reasons why I decided to work in Irish media back in 2006 was because I didn’t feel there was anyone in Irish media that I could identify with. I wanted to bring my perspective to the table and share my story as a woman, a migrant, a proud lesbian, a person who struggles with their mental health, someone who sadly experienced sexual abuse as a teenager and comes from a family that was in crisis for most of my childhood. The reason why I am so open about who I am in everything I do is not to have bouquets thrown at me but instead to break down stigma, encourage people who have similar experiences to get support and most importantly to remind people that it does get better. People in the public eye have a responsibility to make personal confessions especially if it has the potential of bringing about positive change and even save lives.

Angelina Jolie’s story

Well, this week Actor Angelina Jolie really surprised me and probably most of the world when she spoke out about her double mastectomy in an effort to reduce her chances of getting breast cancer. By sharing her incredibly personal experience Angelina Jolie is spearheading a new awareness of gene testing as a guard against the possibility of breast cancer. This has been welcomed by doctors and medical experts specialising in the disease as a way of raising the profile of the test.

In her account, published on Wednesday in the New York Times, Jolie appealed for greater access for gene testing and lifesaving preventive treatment and encourages women to explore their options. The actor has a defective gene, BRCA1, which doctors told her increased her risk of developing breast cancer to 87%; it also increased her risk of ovarian cancer. However, the surgery has reduced Jolie’s risk of breast cancer to less than 5%.

Other famous personal confessions

It was so brave of Jolie to speak about having the procedure especially as she works in an industry that is so hung up on appearances and aesthetics. But she is not the only one as many other Hollywood actors have been open about their health, Michael J. Fox who has Parkinson, Christopher Reeves, the original Superman, who spoke so openly about his life as a quadriplegic after his devastating equestrian accident and author Terry Pratchett on living with Alzheimers. Even more recently the British reality star Jade Gooding who passed away in 2011 but will always be remembered for her work on raising awareness of Cervical Cancer. Even here in Ireland, we have had our share of heroes who have generously shared their stories, my colleague George Hook who spoke publicly about his depression, funny man Des Bishop and his fight with Testicular Cancer and even more recently the wonderfully talented Anne Gildea and her battle against Breast Cancer.

Not just a PR stunt

For the cynics out there who think that these are just PR stunts in an effort to make a quick buck – I beg to disagree as every time a person shares their story it comes with a personal cost. I know first-hand how this feels as every time I perform in the play Box of Frogs, I share my personal experience of depression and abuse with countless strangers, all in the hope to break down stigma. However, every performance really takes its toll on me as I am physically exhausted afterwards. But I believe it’s all worth it even if just one person finds the performance helpful for them.

Sharing your story can be empowering but…

A word of caution, for those who are in the public eye or not, only share your personal story if you really want to but do it when you are ready and in your own time and don’t feel pressured by others. Sharing your story is hugely empowering not only in a way to get help and support but also to inspire the people around you because when you share your story what you are really saying is “look, this happened to me but I am still here!”

That’s what I think about it but what do you think? Do you believe that sharing personal stories is incredibly important? Or do you long for the time when people were private about their personal affairs?